Anatomy of the Heart
by Hyaenaa
Summary: Hans is convinced that he is dying, so he goes to see Skipper one last time. Fortunately, Hans is completely wrong.


**Anatomy of the Heart**

* * *

There was something unfathomable and uncanny about Hans' anatomy. The Hoboken zoo wasn't notorious for it's caring atmosphere, but after it became extremely evident that the resident puffin was moping around, the zoo made it a priority to get him checked out. They could not identify the problem; it was nothing physical, so he overheard the humans say.

Hans didn't understand. It certainly felt physical. It felt as though someone had snuck in while he was sleeping and had removed the atriums and valves of his heart, leaving it hollow and empty. He didn't understand, and he didn't like it.

At some point he managed to sneak away from the zoo itself. He perhaps needed a break from Hoboken, being that it wasn't the best atmosphere for someone of his more refined tastes. The only redeemable resident was Lulu, and she was only relatively fond of him to begin with. Hans traveled for a while - it was hard for a small flightless puffin to get anywhere - but it was all right, because he needed the time to collect his thoughts.

Maybe he was dying. Maybe he had developed some sort of undetectable disease. Maybe the Danes had injected him with an incredibly slow-acting poison and it was only now taking effect. Maybe he was having heart failure because of too many sweets.

Regardless, Hans managed to wrap his head around the idea of death. It was okay with him; he wasn't particularly startled by the concept of dying. It was something he had been trained to accept when faced with it. Sure, he wanted to avoid it at all costs, but when the inevitable came, he wouldn't run from fate. Instead, he would take it by the reigns.

Hans thought that, in his dying days (who knew how long he had to live?) he would return to Denmark to visit his favorite places again. Maybe return to his home-land of Germany. Perhaps he would travel to another continent, even. He heard that Madagascar had some great beaches. Maybe he would fabricate some sort of elaborate plot to confiscate as much illegal fish contraband as he could so that he could glut himself before he was deceased.

And yet, none of those things ended up happening. Hans found himself making his way to none other than New York City, at which he ended up on the outskirts of the Central Park zoo. Which, though it surprised even himself, he found it strangely okay, if not even compelling. It was as though he was drawn there somehow. Maybe all he needed to do was see his old foe one last time. Maybe then he could die in peace.

Hans perched in a tree just outside of the zoo walls and stared in, watching as the penguins did their general waving act. He found himself sighing, almost dreamily, as he admired Skipper. Skipper's soft yet sleek feathers were accentuated by the sweet golden sun that dripped over his body like honey. His sea blue eyes traced over the humans with a calculating gaze as he waddled back and forth, garnering their admiration (and subsequently, fish).

It was a known fact to Hans that Skipper was really cool. It was something that stood out to him, even back when they first met. Skipper was just plain cool and, in some strange, twisted way, Hans almost wanted to be like him. He wanted Skipper to like Hans as much as Hans liked Skipper. The prospect of which seemed unreachable, but it didn't stop Hans from fantasizing then and it didn't stop him when he watched for hours as Skipper kept up his 'cute and cuddly' routine.

Hans didn't even realize how much time had passed until darkness had fallen and the zoo was closing, and he was almost embarrassed at how long he had been watching Skipper just for the sake of watching him. He and Skipper were meant to hate each other. That was how Skipper saw it, and when was Skipper wrong? Almost never.

The puffin was just about to leave when the clenching hollowness of his heart seemed to worsen. He gasped dramatically as he practically collapsed from his branch in the tree. He just barely managed to catch himself, but the damage was done. The penguins had seen him.

"Hans!" Skipper shouted, rather alarmed as he shot into a defensive position.

"Oh dear," Private mumbled, but he, Kowalski and Rico followed Skipper's lead.

Collecting himself, Hans brushed off and rolled his eyes with a sigh at his own clumsiness. He hopped forward so that he was directly in front of the penguin exhibit. Skipper glared and tensed, stepping forward to show that he was not in the mood to play around.

"Ah, Skipper," he responded. His voice was strained, borderline facetious, lacking the sincere malice it normally held. He was tired. "What an exciting twist that I run into you, my old foe."

Skipper was taken off guard momentarily by the clear distinction of exhaustion and disinterest in Hans' voice. "What are you planning, you deranged puffin?"

Hans shrugged. He didn't bother lying - what did it matter? "This time? Nothing. I just wanted to see you one last time. Well, I suppose that I will be on my way now."

Just as he turned to leave, however, Skipper leapt in front of him, his face the picture of edged suspicion. "...One last time? What are you talking about?"

Hans only stared at him, finding himself almost lost in Skipper's icy blue eyes once more. They used to be able to speak like this, without words. Apparently Skipper still retained the ability to understand him, as his eyes widened in brief recognition. He leaned over for a moment to direct his attention to his men, who were looking on in utter confusion.

"Go down the hatch. I will be joining you shortly." Skipper commanded. When there was dejected hesitation, his scowl hardened. "That's an _order_."

With reluctance, the three other penguins followed suit, all exchanging glances of concern over Skipper and Hans' surreptitious behavior. When they were gone, Skipper faced Hans once more, his hardened glare still in place.

"Explain. Now." He demanded.

Hans' eyes lowered and he sighed. Once again he gave up on the idea of lying, when it was pointless if he could die at any time. "I am dying, Skippsy. There is something wrong with me - I'm not sure what, and I don't know how much time I have."

Skipper's eyes widened and he took a careful step back in his alarm. "Dying? You can't be serious... I-" Skipper swallowed and glanced away. "...Why did you come here, then?"

Hans shrugged once more. "I do not know, Skipper. I just did."

The penguin's visage turned sour once more. "This is a trick, isn't it? I bet there's nothing really wrong with you."

It was Hans' turn to glower. He pushed Skipper backwards in a rush of frustration. "I am going to die, for real this time! I am having a heart issue!"

Skipper pushed him back in retaliation, raising his voice. "Then why did you come here? Why did you have to see me before you...? This has to be some sort of evil scheme of yours!"

"I don't know!" Hans reiterated. "I just felt that it was the right thing to do, Skippsy!"

Silence fell between them for a moment as they both gathered control of their anger. Skipper suddenly sighed, almost deflated, and he sat on the ground. Hans joined him, and felt compelled to lean against his penguin enemy. With his inhibitions lowered by looming demise, he did as he pleased, garnering a soft noise of surprise from Skipper.

"I missed you," Hans suddenly blurted out, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

No response followed for a moment, and the pain in Hans' chest worsened as he shuddered. But, finally, Skipper cleared his throat, and his voice was awfully plaintive. "I missed you too, Hans."

Hans turned to face Skipper, his expression melancholy. "My heart hurts so bad, schnuki. It feels like it is failing me."

He watched as Skipper visibly bristled, albeit not in a negative manner, at the German pet name. Skipper's beak twisted into careful thought, before he scooted a bit closer. "Maybe there's something we can do to... Fix it. Kowalski can check it out for-"

"No!" Hans suddenly exclaimed, before he covered his beak at his own outburst. "I am sorry, Skippsy. But I do not trust that brainy penguin."

Skipper stared at him rather blankly for a moment before he grinned and chuckled. "I get you. Maybe... I can check it out. Just, y'know, listen for an irregular heartbeat or something."

Hans felt his sagging heart jolt at the idea and he was nodding before he could even think twice on it. Skipper licked over his lower beak, glancing from between Hans' eyes and his chest, before he leaned forth to listen in. Hans shuddered; having Skipper so close to him made him feel giddy, almost, nervous and elated all at once. Skipper seemed to nuzzle in closer and Hans watched as his ex-best-friend/partner closed his eyes to listen closely. Moments passed that felt like hours of sheer glee, before Skipper reluctantly retracted his face from Hans' chest.

"...It doesn't sound unhealthy. Beating fast, but not anything irregular." Skipper explained, and there was concern in his eyes.

"It hurts, though," Hans reminded him in a whine.

"Hurts how? Like, a stinging or a dull pain?" Skipper asked, almost in a clinical manner.

Hans shimmied his flipper in the air to show a mixture. "Ehh, it's sort of an emptiness? It feels like something important is missing. It's very dysphoric, schnuki."

Skipper stared at him rather blankly for several moments, before he slowly blinked. "...Hans, that sounds like a case of heartbreak to me."

"Heartbreak!" Hans gasped. "That can happen?"

Skipper burst into laughter. "N... No, I mean! It sounds like you're in love and you feel lonely!"

Alarmed, Hans thought this over, before flippantly dismissing it with a waving flipper. "Bah, don't be ridiculous Skippsy. Who would I feel love over?" He himself chuckled at the very idea.

They looked at each other and slowly the smiles faded, realization slowly crawling over both of their faces.

"Oh." Hans simply said. He waited a beat, before adding, "Ah, that makes this awkward, doesn't it?"

Skipper shrugged this time, before a suave expression crossed his face. "Maybe I _can_ help you, Hans."

"You can? Oh, goodie, because I was thinking that this was - mngh!" He was in the middle of awkward relief only for his sentiment to be interrupted by Skipper pressing their beaks together.

Something ignited within Hans at that moment, and his heart swelled, as though piecing itself back together. He trilled, very quietly, and wound his wings around Skipper's neck, nuzzling him even closer. When they finally pulled away, Hans saw Skipper's eyes were coated over in bliss, and he presumed his must have looked the same. Skipper pressed his beak into Hans' feathers, necking him, and Hans outright gasped as he felt joy overwhelm him. Skipper pulled away to look him over, and a stern expression replaced the one of happiness he'd had only moments before.

"Whatever it is that we're doing right now... You're not going to mess it up like you did back in Copenhagen, understand?" His voice was cold with a hint of fondness.

A grin erupted over Hans' beak and he leaned forward to touch their foreheads together. "I wouldn't dream of it, darling."

With that said, the two of them kissed once more, and Hans felt more alive than ever.


End file.
